2 years, 4 months
That's how long I've been single. It seems a very long time. It sometimes seems too long, sometimes not long enough. With friends getting married, I've been thinking about maturity and its impact on relationships. Do you reach a critical mass point where you are mature enough to commit to marriage? If so, I think I'm doomed to (blessed with?) singleness for the long haul. But I don't think that's the case. I've seen friends grow inordinate amounts of maturity up to and in marriage; and in other cases I've seen God give huge amounts of grace to the partner to deal with the lack of maturity in the spouse.
On a side note, I've been thinking about love and what it's supposed to be like. Each person's expression of love is so different from the next person. I've seen people totally gaa-gaa for each other - in the moony, lovey-dovey way. And I've seen people who are just super comfortable with another that turns into tenderness. And I think I've seen love where it was only in the negative where love was appreciated - only when the relationship was in trouble did expressions of love come about.
I don't think I've ever been in love. I wonder if someone can articulate what that feels like for me, or if I just have to wait and see for myself.
Sorry for the very girly post. I'll try something more interesting next time.
On a side note, I've been thinking about love and what it's supposed to be like. Each person's expression of love is so different from the next person. I've seen people totally gaa-gaa for each other - in the moony, lovey-dovey way. And I've seen people who are just super comfortable with another that turns into tenderness. And I think I've seen love where it was only in the negative where love was appreciated - only when the relationship was in trouble did expressions of love come about.
I don't think I've ever been in love. I wonder if someone can articulate what that feels like for me, or if I just have to wait and see for myself.
Sorry for the very girly post. I'll try something more interesting next time.
posted by Annie @ 9:20 PM
4 Comments:
At 4:09 PM,
Sam Negus said…
At the risk of responding to a girly post with one of those comments that comes across as a man trying to be ultra impressively religious, wise and great (all of which I am not), the only true love is that which is commanded and commandable. Because that alone is the love that mirrors God's love. Our tendency is to feel left out if we don't 'have love' because we want to be loved, but even God himself gets frustrated by the act of loving people. Don't be tempted to write off your last 2 years and 4 months as a loss. And don't fear marriage when it comes. You'll be alright!
At 3:19 AM,
Anonymous said…
Is love a fancy, or a feeling? No.
It is immortal as immaculate Truth,
'Tis not a blossom shed as soon as youth,
Drops from the stem of life--for it will grow,
In barren regions, where no waters flow,
Nor rays of promise cheats the pensive gloom.
A darkling fire, faint hovering o'er a tomb,
That but itself and darkness nought doth show,
It is my love's being yet it cannot die,
Nor will it change, though all be changed beside;
Though fairest beauty be no longer fair,
Though vows be false, and faith itself deny,
Though sharp enjoyment be a suicide,
And hope a spectre in a ruin bare.
-Hartley Coleridge
At 12:53 PM,
Anonymous said…
I think I've been in love at least 5 times. But true love, love that comes from Christ, love that is prepared to commit itself to a person, love that attempts to make its example God Himself, is not something you "fall" into. It is a feeling, yes. But that comes and goes. From what I understand, its defining characterisitic is a disposition of committment toward someone else's good (to paraphrase what Rev. Biggs would say). Now that I think about it, it was only when my understanding of love reached a certain point that I was ready to marry my sweet, dear husband. :)
Kelly
At 8:30 PM,
Norman said…
If it is a girly topic, then I think men should not fear to enter the realm of the gentler sex, as long as the flag of truce is flying. Love is more than the zingy, adrenaline high that you get from meeting someone new. To paraphrase a friend, there is no comparison between that and the kind of high you get from the real thing. A soft blue flame holds more heat than the brightest yellow.
It just goes to show that covenants and intimacy are unified concepts, and the possibility of intimacy makes us anxious--which is the opposite of intimacy anyway! Trusting an untrustworthy sinner isn't exactly the stuff of happily ever after. I think that is why intimacy (and the covenants that bind it to us) often pops up where you wouldn't think of it. And intimacy is what we're really after anyway, isn't it?
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